


Accord

by DefyingNormalcy



Category: Wentworth (TV)
Genre: Angst, F/F, Fluff, post episode 3x01
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-19
Updated: 2016-09-19
Packaged: 2018-08-16 01:18:34
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,711
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8081071
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DefyingNormalcy/pseuds/DefyingNormalcy
Summary: Sequel to my fic Discord, which is an AU take on 3x01. “Joan’s piercing gaze raked over Vera’s body; she felt dark eyes roam the cut of her blouse before returning to Vera’s eyes. The look was brief, barely-concealed. Vera felt languorous heat swallow her whole and she willingly submitted herself to its relentless hunger.”





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Ifitbelove](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ifitbelove/gifts).



> Written for the lovely Ifitbelove at her request and as a thank you for her speedy and wonderfully thoughtful edits on all of my Joan/Vera fics, including this one.

xxx

 

Vera bent over the oven and inhaled deeply. The lasagna that she’d made smelled delicious if she did say so herself; it was a recipe that she’d perfected after lovingly pouring over her grandmother’s old cook books for the better part of the last few years. They had been the only thing of value that Vera had ever inherited and tonight, she was going to put them to use.

 

The table was already set and the wine had been opened twenty minutes ago to allow the rich liquid some time to breathe. The salad was ready, all that it required was fresh lemon and her light vinaigrette dressing, and the after-dinner moscato was in the fridge chilling. All that was missing was Vera’s guest.

 

Vera felt an involuntary shiver dance down her spine as her thoughts shifted towards Joan. Her lips were still clinging onto the wondrous feeling of the older woman’s soft skin which lay overtop her handsome jaw; the contrast between Joan’s softness and her strength was enticing in a way that Vera struggled to articulate, even to herself. Her attraction to Joan had asserted itself very shortly after meeting the formidable woman and at first, Vera had been intimidated by both the strength and unfamiliarity of her feelings. Vera Bennett wasn’t gay, or bisexual...or, well, straight either, _obviously_. No label quite felt right on her tongue, she didn’t want men or women or both in the plural, she wanted Joan. Just Joan. Singular. Vera giggled to herself at the admittedly ridiculous notion of identifying as Joan-sexual; she reached for her wine glass and allowed herself a sip. Clearly almost-death had altered her sense of humour as well.

 

Inviting Joan over tonight had been a huge first step for Vera. Decades of living with her toxic mother had built up a wall of shame that had inserted itself between her relationship with both her heart and her body. The women’s cruelty had, ironically, been exactly what Vera had needed to break down that wall and encourage her to seek out her heart and body’s desires. Joan’s admission today had also given her hope, it was exactly what she’d needed after she had survived the riot and it had inspired her to take a leap of faith and bring Joan here so that she could make her own admission.

 

Vera set her wineglass back down on the countertop and straightened her blouse. It was a silky black top that she’d splurged on as a birthday gift to herself months ago, but had never found the courage to wear. It was cut low and hung loose enough around her collarbone that when she bent over, the material revealed even more; she paired it with her favourite dark blue jeans and had pulled her hair back in a high ponytail. She’d changed the bandage on her neck to a smaller, less bulky dressing and prayed that it wouldn’t be too off-putting. Unfortunately the wound was still only hours-old and needed to be completely cleaned and covered. Her heart rattled nervously at the thought that Joan and her obsession with cleanliness and sterility might be offended at the sight of her neck. Vera licked nervous lips and calmed herself by recalling Joan’s words from earlier today.

 

_I care about you._

 

Vera checked her watch. It read 7:54pm. Delicate butterflies began to flap around in her abdomen. Her oven let out a loud _beep_ and Vera pulled her oven mitts back on to check their dinner. Satisfied with what she saw in the dish, she turned the oven off and closed the door so that their meal would remain warm.

 

7:57pm.

 

Vera allowed herself one last indulgent sip of wine before making her way to her front door with trembling legs.

 

7:58pm. Vera was just footsteps away from the door when she heard Joan’s confident knock. It was the sweetest sound she’d ever heard in her 42 years on this earth.

 

“Joan! Please, come in,” she managed with minimal stuttering. Her companion this evening had let her hair fall down and around her shoulders and had changed into a dark pair of trousers and an emerald green blouse; Vera was struck by the realization that she’d never seen a colour this vibrant on Joan before. She was gorgeous.

 

Joan’s piercing gaze raked over Vera’s body; she felt dark eyes roam the cut of her blouse before returning to Vera’s eyes. The look was brief, barely-concealed. Vera felt languorous heat swallow her whole and she willingly submitted herself to its relentless hunger.

 

xxx

 

Joan settled her fork down gracefully as she reached for the glass of cabernet sauvignon that Vera had poured for her at the start of their meal. The flavours on her tongue were savoury and indulgent; she’d never wagered that the little mouse of a deputy who was much better at following orders than giving them would be such a force to reckon with in the kitchen.

 

“This really is delicious Vera. I had no idea that you were so masterful in the kitchen,” Joan complimented as she picked up her fork again and began to cut a perfectly square piece of lasagna.

 

Vera’s ears burned red at Joan’s compliment. _So easy_ , Joan thought. She chose to ignore the matching heat that she felt settling low in her belly.

 

“Thank you. It’s a recipe from my Gran. She was fantastic in the kitchen, she um, well she passed a few years ago and left me her books,” Vera said. She winced internally, dead family members was not the topic of conversation that she’d had in mind for tonight’s meal.

 

Joan nodded her head respectfully. “Well you’ve certainly made good use of them haven’t you, hmm?” she said, eyes focused on her plate in front of her.

 

Vera detected a note of tension in her dinner companion’s tone. Joan hadn’t quite been able to meet her eyes for longer than a few seconds since she’d been welcomed into Vera’s home. Was she uncomfortable? Did Vera make her uncomfortable? Panic gripped Vera’s heart and she reached for her wine yet again to push it down.

 

_Joan saved me. Joan cares about me._

 

With liquid courage trickling down her throat, Vera found her words. “Joan, I invited you over tonight to, well to talk about a few things,” she started. She blushed deeply and struggled to keep her voice calm and level. “I wanted to talk to you about what happened today, and what you did for me-”

 

“We’ve already had this discussion,” Joan interrupted, slightly irritated.

 

Vera’s big, blue eyes widened and her already flushed face turned an even deeper shade of pink. It annoyed Joan. Why was Vera bringing this up again? Why was Vera _looking_ at her like this again? Like she’d do anything in the world just to please her. Like if given the choice between Joan and the world, she’d say without hesitation that she’d already chosen Joan. Like how Jianna used to look at her.

 

Vera’s tongue darted out to wet her lower lip and she fiddled with her napkin. Her eyes lowered and she frowned; she looked like she might burst into tears and that annoyed Joan even more. Jianna had cried for days and days when Joan first met her. Tears had marked her face until Joan’s lips had cleared them away, gently telling them to retreat and remain hidden. Joan had made it her mission to replace Jianna’s tears with gentle laughter and even more gentle embraces.

 

When Jianna died, no one had been there to kiss Joan’s tears away. No one had been there to embrace her. No one.

 

“You said...today you told me that you care about me. I thought that meant...,” Vera stopped herself, suddenly feeling very foolish.

 

Joan could hear the emotion in the younger woman’s voice. She could feel Vera’s need for her again, crashing into her like violent ocean waves against a stoic lighthouse. Joan curled her hands into fists on either side of her dish. _Think, think think._ Her mind spun its wheels frantically. She shouldn’t be here. She shouldn’t have agreed to come. She shouldn’t have allowed herself the indulgence of touching this woman today. She should have let the prisoners have her. She should have let them rid herself of this distraction. She would not forgive her momentary lapses in her judgement easily.

 

Joan felt a gentle weight on top of her fist. She felt tentative fingers caress whitened knuckles and a thumb skip along her wrist. She looked up and saw Vera’s pink cheeks stained with tears below glossy eyes that beckoned her like twin sirens. She felt it again; Vera’s longing crashing against her, this time, colliding into the iron cage protecting her heart. She felt droplets seep through to the parched muscle. She felt it expand and contract painfully. Vera’s fingers curled around Joan’s loosening fist. Another crest against the cage, this time, it engulfed her.

 

Vera regarded Joan intensely. Her thick brows were furrowed and her jaw was clenching and unclenching rhythmically. Her eyes were as dark as Vera had ever seen them as they darted from her eyes to her cheeks to her lips. Suddenly her lips parted and twitched, her face reddened and Vera surmised that her words had found a barrier at the back of her throat. Realization crept up on to Vera and she let out a dizzying breath.

 

“It’s okay Joan, I’m frightened too,” Vera whispered softly.

 

Joan’s lower lip began to tremble, so she sunk her teeth down into it as punishment. Admitting her deep care for Vera would mean admitting to her greatest weakness. It would also force Joan to open herself up in a way to Vera that she didn’t think she had the strength to. It would mean shedding light on the darkest parts of herself and hoping that they wouldn’t frighten Vera away.

 

“Please don’t shut me out like this,” Vera begged. Her fingers continued their gentle assault on Joan’s hand. “I’m not trying to push you, I just need you to know what you are to me. The women almost took that chance away from me today and I promised myself that I wouldn’t waste the next chance that I had with you.”

 

Finally, Joan spoke. “Vera I’m not what you think I am. I’m…”

 

Defective. Worthless. Pointless. Incapable of love. Her father’s words rang in her head.

 

Joan looked down again and frowned. Why was it so difficult verbalizing herself in front of this woman? Joan felt disorderly. Again and again Vera’s need crested against her. Vera’s hand grew hotter against her skin until it branded her.

 

“I don’t know how to do this,” Joan finally whispered, terrified. She forced herself to meet Vera’s gaze.

 

“Neither do I,” Vera admitted.

 

“How do I...how do I organize this?” Joan asked aloud. She heard the scrape of a chair leg against hardwood floor and the tinkling of dishes being pushed away from in front of her.

 

Vera inserted herself in the space between Joan and the dining room table. Her bottom rested against the table and her legs fell between Joan’s. Vera’s tiny hands cupped her face, tender thumbs rubbed back and forth along her jaw and she recalled how perfect Vera’s lips had felt there just hours ago.

 

“Organize what?” Vera asked patiently. Joan’s skin was so deliciously welcoming, she wanted to drown in its softness but was petrified to set them back yet again. She contented herself on the light touch of her hands against Joan’s strong jaw.

 

“I wouldn’t have negotiated with the women for anyone else. But I did for you. I would have let them have whoever else, but they had _you._ I couldn’t let them hurt you,” Joan said, as if trying to make sense of her own actions. “You invade my thoughts at the most inopportune times. I..I find myself caring about your opinion of me. I let you touch me today. ” Joan blushed further. “I don’t like being touched,” she added, frowning.

 

“D-do you like being touched by me?” Vera asked nervously, prepared to remove her hands from Joan’s face no matter how much it would kill her.

 

“Yes,” Joan said breathlessly. “I do care Vera,” she added guiltily. Her other fist finally unfurled and both hands dared to rest on Vera’s tiny waist. Joan frowned at the contrast between her large hands and the waif-life circumference of Vera’s waist.

 

Vera smiled and let out a soft laugh. Her thumbs rested on either side of Joan’s chin and she brought her forehead to rest against Joan’s. “I know you do. I brought you here tonight to tell you that I do too.”

 

Joan’s eyes closed and she reveled in the feeling of having so much of Vera touching so much of her at once; never in her adult life had she allowed anyone else to touch so much of her skin before, not even Jianna. Slowly, she opened them to find Vera biting her lip and trying, rather unsuccessfully, to stop a wide grin from stretching across her lips. She tilted her head upwards to the side of Vera’s face  and pressed her lips against the delicate skin. Vera’s dried tears were salty and her skin was smooth against her lips and tongue; she placed firm kisses all along the cheek, down her jaw, then across her slight chin to trail up the other side of her face. Her mind cruelly conjured up memories of doing this for Jianna. Her heart told her that it was okay to remember her love for Jianna at the same time that she was loving Vera. Her body swayed forward and pulled Vera from the table into her lap; it told her that it had been far too long since she’d allowed herself this sort of indulgence.

 

Joan’s lips were soft and deliberate yet there was a shyness to Joan’s kisses that was utterly endearing to Vera. Eventually, Joan pulled back and regarded Vera, her anxiety barely concealed. Vera smiled softly at Joan and moved one hand to tuck her thick hair behind her ear. She played with Joan’s hair for a few indulgent moments before resting her hand against her neck.

 

Joan’s eyes held the barest glimmer of a smile. Her lips parted slightly and the tightness that had been in her jaw all evening finally seemed to loosen. She tilted her head upwards again, this time searching out the softness of Vera’s mouth. Vera’s accompanying sigh and the gentle flicker of her eyelashes against Joan’s cheek stirred a growing hunger deep within her. One hand left its spot on Vera’s waist to gently hold Vera’s neck, mindful of the fresh bandage. The other daringly slipped down and under Vera’s silky blouse to caress her muscular back.

 

Vera’s thighs tightened around Joan’s waist as Joan’s  lips descended on hers over and over. She groaned into Joan’s mouth as she felt the hot wetness of Joan’s tongue begin to tease her lower lip. She began to rock her hips experimentally against Joan’s sturdy thighs as Joan’s kisses plunged deeper, as her hand against Vera’s back became hotter and bolder. Vera felt the faint scrape of teeth against her lower lip, felt Joan’s hot breath panting against her chin, felt the firm tug of Joan’s lips and teeth as they devoured Vera’s flesh and sucked at it rhythmically.

 

Sweat began to trickle down Vera’s back and gather at the swell of her cleavage. Joan grinned against Vera’s mouth as her fingertips intercepted its wetness trailing down Vera’s spine. She pressed firmly, marching it upwards, gliding towards the hook of Vera’s bra. She felt dizzy with want for this woman, this gorgeous woman whose gentle mewls and soft sighs were betrayed by the lasciviousness with which she rocked her hips into Joan’s.  

 

It was Vera who eventually pulled back, resting both hands on Joan’s heaving shoulders whilst she panted, open-mouthed and with twitching hips. She regarded Joan with a lustful stare that Joan hadn’t ever dared to hope that her pretty little mouse would be capable of producing.

 

“Bed,” Vera uttered in such a tone that Joan thought she might combust before they even made it to Vera’s request.

 

xxx

 

Vera’s mattress was much softer than Joan prefered, she felt her large frame practically sink into the narrow surface and her face grew hot with embarrassment. But within seconds Vera was back on top of her, running her hands through Joan’s hair to firmly massage her scalp as lips desperately attended to Joan’s mouth and Joan had forgotten everything but the feel and taste of her beautiful deputy. Vera’s slight weight felt incredible against her - but Joan needed more. She needed to feel Vera’s taut calves sliding against her own, she needed to feel her small breasts and erect nipples pressing against her, she needed to feel arms, which she knew to be muscled and firm, wrap around her. More than anything, she needed to feel Vera’s hot, wet flesh gripping her fingers, she needed to taste her sweetness on her tongue.

 

They parted and, seemingly able to read one another’s minds, clumsily reached for one another’s clothing. Joan tugged Vera’s pants and underwear down as Vera hastily unbuttoned Joan’s shirt. Socks were kicked off and Vera’s watch was tossed to the floor, landing with an unmistakable _crunch_ of broken glass that neither woman cared to pay attention to. Joan was gentle with Vera’s top, and Vera held her breath as Joan lifted it over her head, then bent to kiss along the edge of the bandage. Bras were ripped off with far less care and flung over their heads; each woman paused briefly to grin widely and unashamedly at the other’s exposed breasts.

 

Joan guided Vera onto her back and pressed her body down onto her. Vera’s legs came up to wrap around Joan, her ankles crossed just above Joan’s full hips and bottom. She pulled Joan even closer to her, eliciting a grunt from the older woman that made Vera shudder.

 

Their lips met again, over and over as their hands wound into tangled hair and their bodies slid against one another. Joan could feel Vera’s wetness coating her abdomen and she kissed her petite lover harder. Vera began to squirm against her and broke away from Joan’s delicious mouth.

 

“Touch me, please?” she begged. Her body was alight with passion and a need so fierce for the older woman that she was trembling with the force of it. Her nerve endings were singing with pleasure and Joan hadn't even properly touched her yet. Joan kissed her again before smiling her acknowledgement at Vera's request. Vera’s pupils were large and dark, they bore into Joan’s and her hips ground against her with a wantonness that impressed them both.

 

Joan lowered her mouth to Vera’s jaw and neck. She delighted in the soft, delectable skin that she found there and she closed her eyes as she sucked at the junction of ear and neck. There was so much power in this woman’s skin, in her taste, in her kisses, so much, and Vera was hardly even aware of it. Joan silently acknowledged that Vera had the power to break her in a way that no other person could ever even fathom. Her father’s teachings echoed in the darkest recesses of her mind, but they were fainter now, they were but a whisper. The prisoners had tried to take this woman, her _lover_ , Joan mused happily, from her today. Her father, were he still alive, would have tried to do the very same.

 

Joan would defy them all.

 

Vera’s bandage scratched at Joan’s chin and as her mouth trailed lower, her kisses grew softer. She fought back tears that threatened to escape her as she nuzzled the skin around the offending garment; she would never allow anyone to hurt her beloved Vera again. She would eliminate all obstacles in their path to happiness. She would take out any opponent who dared to try and stop them.

 

Vera felt a tightness in her throat as Joan’s lush mouth roamed around her covered wound. She reached for the large hand that had been splayed out across her hip and entwined their fingers. Silent tears began to pour out of her eyes as Joan’s lips pressed, with unmatched gentleness, against the bandage.

 

“Shh, Vera,” Joan said sweetly as she sensed the younger woman begin to dissolve into tears. “You are safe. I’ll protect you, always,” Joan whispered as she lowered her lips against the rough material. _I will never let anyone touch you in anger or in violence again_ , she silently vowed. 

 

Lower her mouth trailed, leaving open-mouthed kisses against Vera’s flushed skin. Joan found herself becoming frantic with the urgent desire to cover every inch of Vera’s taut body with her mouth. Each responding sigh and moan encouraged Joan onwards. When Vera had lead them to the sanctuary of her bed, she had been unsure if her actions could bring Vera to the height of pleasure. Their bare flesh, hot and sticky, and kisses so lewd that they made her dizzy, were all so new to Joan. Foreign. But desired, so desired and so _necessary_ , Joan realized. She had fumbled, nearly disastrously, with her words at dinner, she had fumbled slightly even with the simple task of removing Vera’s clothing, but Vera hadn’t begrudged her for any of that. Her heart swelled with adoration for this forgiving woman and she kissed her even more determinedly. She would allow herself to love this woman, she would make Vera feel her love for her.  Somewhere in the back of her lust-clouded mind she registered the significance of this, of the series of actions between them. Of the unspoken promises that they were marking onto one another’s skin, of the beautifully unruly emotions that Joan had never thought she’d feel again after Jianna’s death.

 

Vera’s legs unlocked from around Joan and fell open as she wiggled down Vera’s slim body. As Vera’s legs settled against the mattress, Joan bent her head in solemn, unrelenting worship. Vera’s soft cries and rapid breaths buzzed in Joan’s ears, matching the thrumming of Joan’s own heartbeat. Her thighs were soft and slick with sweat and her body glowed beautifully in the moonlight which peeked through the curtains of her bedroom window. With two long fingers, Joan held open the most sacred part of her lover as her lips and tongue began to lovingly trace her silk petals and circle her delicate, engorged pearl. Joan’s ears burned hotly as she listened to the sounds that her Vera made, careful to be gentle but firm in her actions as she indulged in the incredible privilege of making love to her.

 

Vera crushed the fingers of Joan’s hand at her hips the moment that Joan’s tongue began to gently lap at her sex. The other flailed for a moment before it wound itself in the damp hair of her lover, Joan, _her_ Joan, as her head moved gently between Vera’s trembling thighs. The sensations that Joan’s tongue coaxed from her were unlike anything she'd ever felt before; it was bliss, it was torture, it was _everything_ she never knew that she needed. Her heart felt like it might overflow with love for this woman and she knew, moments before her pleasure peaked, that she not only had she found her first true lover, but her last as well. She would never take another to bed with her. She would never allow another to touch her so intimately. She would never allow another to see the most vulnerable parts of herself. Strangely, the thought did not frighten Vera, instead, sweet warmth enveloped her and she happily allowed herself to be carried away by it.

 

Joan felt her skin prickle in response as Vera’s narrow hips jutted forwards and began to buck wildly against her mouth. Vera’s pleasure bathed Joan’s lips and chin and she felt the remaining, twisted, ugly iron barriers around her heart fall away as she willingly, finally, submerged herself in the depths of not only Vera’s need for her, but her need for the younger woman. She ran her lips and tongue indulgently over the reddened, wet flesh as Vera fell back down into herself before shakily crawling back up her lover’s body to rest against her. Her own sex pulsated with need to reach glorious satisfaction as Vera had and Joan had to take harsh, deep breaths to keep herself from falling into a frenzy, lest she frighten Vera.

 

Vera’s legs shifted slightly and narrowed as she felt Joan ascend her body. She saw, in the depths of Joan’s dark eyes a need so fierce that it stoked Vera’s already waned longing. “What do you need?” Vera said, her voice hoarse still from vocalizing her pleasure. “Tell me Joan, please.” She had no idea what one did to bring their lover to orgasm. Well, she new in _theory_ of course, but Vera suddenly felt nervousness poke at the bubble of joy that had formed around her the moment that Joan had pressed her gloriously naked body against hers. Still, she was determined to give Joan the same gorgeous relief that she herself had just experienced.

 

Joan pressed her body down on top of Vera’s and nuzzled that delicious spot behind her ear again. What did she want? She wanted to lower her head again and drink deeply at the well between Vera’s thighs. She wanted to merge her flesh with Vera and never part from her. She wanted to be inside of her petite lover as her body reached the pinnacle of her pleasure, again and again. She wanted to hear Vera scream her name, wanted it to reverberate off of the walls in this house and travel all the way back to the women at the prison. She wanted them to know that their deputy was, in fact, _hers._ Vera’s hands were in her hair again, brushing it back to mouth at her neck, she felt Vera’s sharp teeth at the lobe of her ear and she groaned.

 

“Tell me, I want to make you feel good,” Vera whispered. She felt Joan shudder against her and she pushed back against the wave of uncertainty that threatened her. “Do you want me to touch you? Hmm?”

 

Joan found herself suddenly gripped by a biting panic. Vera had never touched a woman before Joan, what if she didn’t like it? What if Vera didn’t want her in the same way that Joan wanted her? What if she found herself put off by how Joan felt? What if she didn’t find the taste of her as enjoyable as Joan had found hers to be?

 

Vera sensed a different kind of tension in Joan’s body and pulled her lover’s head back to kiss all along her beautiful face. “You are so beautiful, so sexy. I’ve wanted you for ages. I just want to please you, to love you,” she whispered against Joan’s swollen lips. “Please, don’t shut me out. Not now. Not after we’ve shared this,” she pleaded, recalling her words from earlier.

 

The conviction and desire in Vera’s words ripped away the last shred of Joan's self control. Joan’s thighs parted, at last, and her slick sex slid against Vera’s damp thigh. “Just...ngh...kiss me...please,” she grunted as she pressed her body down onto Vera’s.

 

Vera obliged and kissed Joan deeply, tasting her own saltiness against her lover’s tongue and lips. She wanted so badly to crawl down Joan’s body and take up residence between her shapely thighs, but it was clear that Joan wasn’t quite ready for that. Vera groaned as she felt Joan’s damp curls and glistening folds sliding against her thigh. _Next time,_ Vera promised herself, and smiled at the thought. Her one hand presently held Joan at the base of her neck while the other reached down to fill itself with Joan’s splendid rear, squeezing and kneading the delicious flesh as Joan rubbed herself wildly against Vera. As Joan’s breaths became desperate pants, Vera’s mouth settled on her jaw; a smile crossed Vera’s lips as she recalled the very first introduction of her lips against this part of Joan, just a few hours earlier.

 

“Vera...Ve…,” Joan chanted her lover’s name over and over. Her body was on fire, every part of her trembled with unrestrained need as she climbed higher and higher, reaching to dizzying heights. Vera’s gentle endearments kisses against her jaw were her anchor as she mercilessly rode her slim thigh. Embarrassingly fast, Joan felt her back stiffen and the movement of her hips ramp up and out of her control as her pleasure swallowed her whole and carry her away.

 

Seconds, minutes, hours later - it was impossible to tell -  Joan felt Vera’s lips planting kisses against her cheeks, chin, nose, and forehead. She blinked slowly and made to move, to get up and run away from the tenderness that overwhelmed her in this moment, but Vera’s arms around her held her still.

 

“Shh, I’m right here,” Vera whispered from above Joan. Vera bent her head to gently tease Joan’s lips apart and Joan tasted tears on Vera’s lips. It was then that Joan registered that her cheeks were damp from crying. Vera rubbed her nose against Joan’s and returned to visit the skin at the corner of Joan’s eyes. “That was so beautiful Joan,” she sighed happily.

 

The sincerity in her voice caused a lump to form in Joan’s throat; her face burned hotly and she turned her head away from Vera, burying it in the crook of her neck. She suddenly couldn’t stand to be looked at by Vera’s earnest eyes.

 

Vera sighed patiently and allowed Joan to shield herself from her. She held onto her lover tighter and rubbed her chin in Joan’s tangled hair; she recalled how safe that had made her feel just hours ago and she hoped that it would make Joan feel the same way. She held on to Joan for several minutes, not for one second begrudging her lover’s need for a private moment in the middle of their intimacy. Eventually, Joan turned her head to look at Vera again, and Vera smiled down at her.

 

“Would you like to stay?” Vera asked shyly. “If you’re still hungry, I could heat up dinner. I had a bottle of moscato waiting for us in the fridge for desert,” she said nervously. Would Joan stay? Would she _want_ to stay? Vera held her breath in anticipation of Joan’s response.

 

Joan smiled, wide and beautiful, reaching all the way up to her dark eyes which now sparkled with such tenderness that it made Vera ache. “Why don’t you let me pour us a glass and bring it here, hmm?” she said. Her fingers reached up to trace the edge of the bandage at Vera’s neck. “Let me take care of you?” Joan asked and willed her heart to settle its wild fluttering. She didn’t just mean tonight of course, her offer extended to Vera from this point onwards. If Vera would have her, she would be her loyal guardian and lover until her dying days. She prayed that Vera would understand the significance of her offer and she dared to hope that Vera might accept it.

 

Vera nudged her nose against Joan’s again. How she adored the elegant slope, it was so reminiscent of the prominent curve of Joan’s waist and hips. She knew of course what Joan was offering and she happily imagined what that might look like. Joan bent over the kitchen counter, cutting vegetables into perfect, precise slices as Vera minded the pot on the stove. Joan reclined against the edge of the couch, a glass of wine in hand as Vera curled up into her side. Joan, sitting at the head of the dinner table while Vera sat to her right, their eyes glancing up to meet one another and exchange silent conversation as they ate. Joan in the shower, hot water running down all 6 ft. of her while Vera tip-toed up behind her to encircle her waist and catch droplets of water with her tongue as they fell down Joan’s broad back. Joan in bed, naked, glowing with perspiration as Vera’s mouth trailed lower and lower. Vera’s hand caught Joan’s at her neck, and she brought it to her lips. She traced the deep lines of Joan’s large palm and smiled against her wrist.

 

“Yes,” Vera breathed. Yes. _Yes,_ she wanted Joan. Wanted to wake every morning to her long limbs wrapped around her and her silver-streaked hair tickling her neck. Wanted to come home to this strong, passionate woman every evening. Wanted to know every faint freckle that adorned her alabaster skin. Wanted to learn every hidden place in the depths of her radiant mind. Vera wanted it all.

 

Joan let out a breathless laugh, her lips parted to reveal her perfectly straight teeth and the skin around her eyes crinkled. Her thumb traced Vera’s lower lip in wonder and she pulled the younger woman down to her to pour the vastness of her love into a kiss so sweet that it made both women sigh. She held onto Vera tightly, unable to let go of her precious lover just yet. She felt Vera’s hands gently trace the contours of her upper back and shoulders and the tender caresses reached all the way past her flesh and bone and muscle to touch her heart.

 

She was going to be just fine, Joan realized as she nuzzled Vera’s cheek. The emptiness that had so long permeated her soul had been replaced by something beautiful, something that she didn’t think that she’d ever have the capacity for. Slowly, she felt her broken pieces begin to merge, the ache which had long held her captive dissipated as Vera’s love for her enveloped her. No one and nothing, not the minefield that was their place of work, not the women who resided there, not the officers who worked there, not even the ghost of her father would ever harm them again.

  
Joan would make sure of that.


End file.
